Monday, August 31, 2009

Live at the Mark, Tom, and Travis Show!

I am going to blog about something that I am not necessarily proud of, but, it's been on my mind, so, yea. My teenage years, specifically between the ages of 13 and 16 were the hardest years of my life, thus far. I was the epitome of teenage angst. Nobody liked me, especially my family, and I didn't like anybody else. Nobody understood me. Nobody thought, "Hey, maybe she's just having a hard time growing up." It was more like "She's on drugs" (which I was NOT) or "She needs to be institutionalized" (which I didn't). Not one person around me got me. Not one. So, I turned to my music. I could put on a cd and hear somebody singing about exactly what I felt. The hate, the lonelieness, the hopelessness. It was all right there. One band inparticularly did that for me. Blink 182. Yea, yea. I know what you are thinking, "Aren't those the guys that ran around naked all the time?" Yep, those were my boys. They sang about all those things. Wherebeit having fun and partying, relationship issues, depression, family problems. I could relate to those guys. It was explicit, it was awful, and it helped me cope. It by no means made me a better person, but it made me realize that there was a chance to pull through. I realized that other people were mad at the world, but that it would get better. I knew every world of the songs and all about all the singers. They were my family when mine didn't want me (haha, I know my family loved me, I just couldn't feel it at the time). But on the other hand, letting go of them is what "grew me up". When I was 16, I met a nice young man that made me view things a little differently. Danny, unlike most boys I knew, had values and standards. He let me know in no uncertain terms that I did not need to listen to music like that anymore. I slowly let go, and it changed me. I went from scared teenager who could only cope through music to a slightly less scared teeneager that had somebody that was interested in what I had to say. My music, and letting go of it, helped me be me, and I'm ok with that. So, Mark, Tom, Travis, this ones for you! Maybe I'll name a kid after ya, who knows!


Amanda said...

Teenage years suck!! I can't imagine anyone not liking you though. It's probably because I love ya so much. I'm so glad that Danny found you and made you my sister. He's a pretty lucky guy. Love ya girl.

Mamma Cita said...

You know Joe Joe, I think you turned out pretty good. I guess it just goes to show that we all have to progress a step at a time. You really are one of my favorite people. I kinda like your boys too :)